Sunday, 14 December 2014

How do you know if you’re ready?

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A different blog post for you on this lovely Sunday afternoon.  I wanted to touch on a subject which (a) has been on my mind and (b) is perfectly normal for many but also scary to some (I choose the latter).  It is also a natural process of life.

Having babies. 

How do you know if you are ready to take the leap and make a mini me?  For animals it's easy ...whenever they reach sexual maturity - off they go.  However with us humans it is slightly different and more complex.  I have been asking myself (and my hubby too) the question for about 12 to 18 months.  It is that question you ask one another when you’ve reached the next step in your relationship.  It also doesn't help that I am also a 30 year old and have people reminding me (when I'm not already reminding myself) that my clock is ticking - thanks people!

For me the babies question breaks me into a small cold sweat and gets my heart racing.  Bringing a new life in to the big wide world isn’t something to take lightly.  Well for me it isn’t.  I must confess I can be an OCD, over analysing freak who analysis's everything.  Any small thought or feeling... I sit there like a shrink cross examining myself.  I'm broody but do I reaalllly want a child??? But do I really??? I'm that kind of person.  See?

I've always known or thought (see I'm over analysing again) I wanted to have a child.  To experience pregnancy and child birth but most importantly to cuddle a life my hubby and I created together.  I have always imagined that moment of looking in to a pair of eyes that I help build... to have them hold my little finger.  Man I could go on and on.

I'm one of those people who has never really had that much experience with children.  The odd cuddle now and again, perhaps a push on the swings in the park but that has been it.  I've never had the glimpse of that life, where a small person depends on you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year.  So naturally it scares the sh*t out of me.  But come on I'm not the only one, surely??

Hannah (Maggs/Michalak) wrote a recent post HERE which put some of the demons in my mind to rest over becoming a Mum.  If you don't know Hannah (have you been living under a rock??) she and her husband Stef have been vlogging their first year as parents ...star attraction is Greyson - their son.  It might be sad to say I feel almost part of their family, watching him grow over the first year.

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It has also been enlightening for someone like myself when it comes to taking the plunge into parenthood.  I know that becoming a parent isn't always a joyful experience (sleepless nights, painful nipples and a needy child crying when you're feeling sleep deprived) but from watching the Michalaks it has made me feel it can't be that bad. I'm pretty sure the precious moments by far out weigh the bad.  Besides so many people have a child/ren every day.... so it certainly cannot be that bad.

I suppose what I'm attempting to show in this post is that is perfectly normal to be scared and hesitant of the unknown.  We wouldn't be human if we didn't show fear.  However there is no set right or wrong time to have a child... you can plan, plan and plan some more to have one... but using the saying of a recent quote I found 'the thing is you think you have time' (a Buddha quote).  Life is too short, especially where a child is concerned.  You need to be comfortable in your life in order to take the next step, whether it be married or happy with your financial situation.  But you cannot put it off forever, as you cannot get those years back once they are gone.

So I suppose we just need to relax and go with the flow (note to self).

Ax
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1 comment

  1. I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you do, is a life changing decision you are making. I think you will have all those question whatever stage in life but they will soon go once you see that little baby you have made for the first time. xx

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